Maybe you saw the story about the yong woman who is getting married this week. It was supposed to happen a year ago but at her bachelorette party she was shoved into a swimming pool by one of her best friends and paralyzed fromt the waist down for life. This week she continues her journey forward - bruised and changed but not deterred. She doesn't even seem bitter. What can all of us learn from this?
Rachel Friedman was planning a beautiful summer wedding last year when she ended up in the hospital learning to adjust to living life from a wheelchair. You can read a bit more of her story here. But the way she is bouncing back gives a few great lessons for any person or organization trying to get through a tough time. Here are a few thoughts.
- Don't be bitter - The friend who pushed Rachel into the pool and caused the paralysis is still her friend. Things have changed - for both of them - but Rachel and her friend are working forward without bitterness. Bitterness and anger can be useful for a while but a permanent pity party or grudge is likely to take too much of your energy and focus it in the wrong place. In tough times you need to not waste energy on stuff that doesn't matter. Grace may be the real key to getting a second chance.
- Keep focused - Rachel didn't lose sight of her goals. She still loves the man she was going to get married to (and he still loves her). It would take some work to get ready but this week the wedding is going to happen, wheelchair and all. Some people might have gotten sidetracked and things may have fallen apart. But remembering what is important is especially critical in difficult times. If your organization has an Umbrella Strategy, pulling it out in a crisis and spending time remembering why you are here can be helpful. If you don't the PAWN Process may help you start thinking about what you need to develop one. Download PAWN Handout - 1 page summary
- Keep your humor - Rachel laughs about wanting to have danced more. People who know her can tell that she may be physically in a different place but her spirit is still joyfilled and life is still fun. Living playfully, keeping a positive spirit and believing something good is possible - even if it will never be perfect - are keys to moving forward. If your organization (or you) are down in the dumps and feeling hopeless and without fun or joy then it is time to step back and figure out how to do things in a new way or how to do new things. It is OK to go through periods of being down but when they last long enough to change your persona, it is time to regroup.
Rachel is getting married this week. It hasn''t been an easy journey and her marriage will look much different than the one she envisioned just a year ago. But emergent realities are like that. You remember who you are. You look at what is around you to discover what you have. And then you do something - something that matters. Someone once said, "A good life doesn't come from being dealt a good hand, it comes from playing well with the hand you're dealt." Successful people find ways to work through struggles, pick up the pieces, and move on - either on the same road where they found a bump or by rerouting and finding a new path.
If you'd like to talk about where you are and how ARE can help you think about who you are, see what you have and help you or your organization pursue doing what matters, contact us at info@ARenewalEnterprise.com and we'll look forward to a conversation with you.
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