In our business, we hear a lot of excuses for why people can't...
- take a risk
- invest money in a new project
- move toward a different future
- make the shift to healthier, more renewable ways of working together
- work to create positive change in their workplaces, church, neighborhood, world...
- DO WHAT MATTERS.
But what's really underneath all the excuses?
We've seen 5 reasons people give up. We know plenty of examples of people who prove there are NO excuses. And we have learned a lot from Kegan and Lahey, two scholars who explain that the real reason people won't change isn't because they don't want to. It's because they have "competing commitments." But what we haven't seen is a list of reasons people wimp out even before they get started. We'll go first.
- REASON #1 - The seductive illusion of scarcity.
We often hear people say they can't do what matters because they don't have "enough" of something. Now, we know some people actually are poor. But we also know that poor mouthing is one of the oldest tricks in the book for people who just want an excuse for getting out of doing the hard stuff. And The Good Book shows us there are a lot of ways to plead "poverty."
Sarah and Abraham got called to start a new nation but when the call came they were like "are you nuts, God? we're too old to relocate. nobody's even invented u-haul yet." Moses ended up leading his people into freedom but not before he and The Lord went a few rounds; he was all like "the pharaoh is never gonna listen to me - i suck at public speaking - ask somebody else." And when Jeremiah got tapped to be a famous prophet, his first reaction was, "NOBODY's gonna listen to me, your holiness - i'm just a kid!"
If you're tempted to think you can get out of doing what matters this way, remember: These guys didn't fool anybody. Odds are, you wouldn't, either.
- REASON #2 - A tragic but real lack of leadership.
Sometimes when somebody says "i can't," it's actually true. They have so alienated, disappointed, abused, confounded, lied to, wimped out on, and/or disgusted their coworkers and colleagues in the past that they don't have enough credibility to create movement in a new direction. They might say, "let's go!," but nobody will follow. They might say, "i have a dream!," but nobody will listen.
If this is you, you're going to have to step aside and let others lead. Make space for them. Cheer from the sidelines. Work to rebuild your relationship and your reputation by building up others around you.
If you can't do those things, then leave. Now. Go start over someplace else. Promise yourself that you'll get some training, hire a coach, find a mentor, and do things differently. It'll take a lot of courage to do this, probably more courage than you've ever shown in your current position.
But don't stay and continue making excuses for why you can't do what matters. It'll kill you and it'll kill the organization you care about.
- REASON #3 - One word: Narcissism.
It's normal to feel anxious when the organization you care about is on the brink of change, especially if it's BIG change and especially if you depend on "the way things are" for your paycheck and pension. But leadership is about putting yourself on the line for something bigger than yourself. It's about doing what matters even when you are afraid.
Unfortunately, there are those for whom "doing what matters" means taking care of number one. They will resist, openly or covertly, any change that threatens their power even if the change is clearly needed. There is usually at least one of these people in a senior leadership position in every single organization we work with.
If this describes you, odds are you don't see it. But the rest of us need to be on the look-out for you. If you are the big cheese, the rest of us probably need to just run for the hills. You'll do whatever you have to do save your own butt, even if it means sacrificing the rest of us and the work we've shared. But if we have any say at all, we need to strip you of your power to block the change that needs to happen and pray for your conversion.
What reasons would you add to this list for why people wimp out of doing what matters?
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